


That's Not Betrayal

by katling



Series: Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares, finn is sneaky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7280890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My next <a href="http://tellmevarric.tumblr.com/post/145321344313/chacah-inquisitorhotpants">type of kisses</a> fic. We're still in chronological order here and this one comes a couple of weeks after the previous fics. Long enough for Poe's shoulder to heal. The prompt for this one was: a single loving kiss left on the other’s forehead when they fall asleep snuggled close together.</p>
<p>Poe has nightmares, Finn understands and reminds him what betrayal really means. And despite that ominous summary, no, this is not a betrayal fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Not Betrayal

Finn woke with the sense that something was wrong. However a quick glance round the darkened room revealed nothing and Poe was still asleep, spooned in front of him, his back tight against Finn’s chest. He was just about to close his eyes again when the man in his arms shivered and whimpered in his sleep. Finn’s eyes widened; he’d never heard that kind of noise from Poe before and he wasn’t sure what he should do about it. Before he could make any decision, Poe stiffened then jerked away from him, sitting up with strangled cry.

“Poe?” Finn said, flicking the low bedside lamp on and placing one hand gently on Poe’s shoulder.

Poe flinched away from the touch and turned wild, unseeing eyes on him. For a moment, he simply stared then he blinked rapidly and gave a shuddering sigh as sense flooded back into his eyes. 

“Finn,” Poe said and Finn got the sense that the pilot was anchoring himself back into the present. Then he saw something in Poe’s eyes that he instantly decided he never wanted to see again – shame.

“You okay?” Finn asked in a low voice.

Poe looked like he was a second from launching himself out of the bed, perhaps even the room, but then he let out another of those shuddering sighs and seemed to crumple in on himself when Finn ran his hand down his back. He turned and almost threw himself into Finn’s arms, snuggling up close and burying his face in Finn’s neck. He lay there silently and just breathed for a while before finally shifting up so they were face to face.

“Nightmares, buddy,” Poe said wearily. “Just nightmares.”

Finn licked his lips. “Did you… want to talk about them? You’ve done it often enough for me.”

Poe shivered and his jaw worked for a moment. Finn gently rubbed his back and felt Poe melt against him a little more. Poe was a very tactile man and had always welcomed Finn’s touch before. He was relieved to see that didn’t change when the man was distressed and shaken.

“Same one as always,” Poe finally said, his voice small and tired. “Kylo Ren getting into my head.”

Finn sucked in a breath. He should have suspected what they were. He remembered what Poe had looked like when he’d walked into the interrogation room, wrung out and slumped back against the chair, sporting the signs of a beating and trying to be defiant but actually with an expression ragged and edged with something shattered and broken. He remembered the flash of despair and outright fear when he said he was there to take the prisoner to Ren.

“There were always rumours,” he said in a soft voice. “Stories of Troopers who came to his attention, were taken away and came back… different. Jakku… Jakku was the first time I’d ever gone on a mission under his command.” He snorted. “Well, first time I’d ever been on a mission at all but that’s beside the point.”

He checked Poe’s face and saw that the pilot’s eyes were fixed on his own, clear and steady, and he seemed to be relaxing just a little. 

“Everyone was a little on edge, even Phasma,” he continued. “Ren’s always been considered… volatile. The stories of his temper tantrums are legendary. The unspoken order if he was having one of those was always to walk away, don’t draw his attention, better to be disciplined for being off post than end up at the end of Ren’s temper. Actually the unspoken order was always never draw his attention. At all.”

Poe snorted and there was a derisive edge to it that Finn was pleased to hear. But his voice when he spoke was taut and edged with something brittle. “Bit hard to do that when you’re his prisoner.”

Finn rubbed Poe’s back soothingly. He remembered how on Jakku, Ren had stopped and stared _right at him_ after the villagers had been killed. Like he’d known, even though he hadn’t been watching, that Finn hadn’t fired his blaster. Like he’d known about the turmoil in Finn’s mind. He wondered how close he’d come to joining Poe in an interrogation chair, how quickly he’d end up in one if he was ever captured by the First Order now.

“Yeah, I know. I wish I’d been able to get you out sooner.”

Poe managed something close to a smile. “Me too but hey, I’ll take any rescue when it comes from someone as gorgeous as you.”

Finn chuckled. “Smooth, Dameron.”

“I’m very smooth,” Poe said wanly then he sighed and closed his eyes.

“Anyway, what I was trying to say really badly,” Finn continued. “Is that I understand. A bit at least. The Troopers… we knew about Ren, what he was like, what he could do.”

The last of the tension seemed to flow out of Poe and he was pliant and relaxed when Finn pulled him close. The pilot was silent for so long that Finn wondered whether he’d fallen asleep again and e almost gave a start when Poe spoke.

“Felt like he was ripping my mind apart,” he murmured. “I tried to resist but he just… tore straight through anything I did. He just took what he wanted, forced me to betray the Resistance by taking BB-8’s location, that the information was with my droid.”

Something tweaked at Finn’s mind but he set aside for later. Now was about Poe, nothing else. He brushed his fingers along Poe’s cheek and made sure the other man was looking at him before he replied.

“You didn’t betray the Resistance, Poe.” Poe started shaking his head but Finn kept talking. “You _didn’t_. You didn’t give the information willingly. You fought against that. I heard on my way there that you’d resisted all of the interrogator’s attempts at getting the information and that’s why they’d called Ren in. Because _no one_ can fight his methods. Well, maybe _Luke Skywalker_ could but not people like you and me. You didn’t betray the Resistance because the information was taken against your will in a manner you could not fight. That’s _not_ betrayal.”

He could see that Poe desperately _wanted_ to believe him but his doubts and fears were circling and undermining his confidence.

“I’ll bet the General’s said the same thing,” Finn said firmly, feeling like he was on pretty solid ground with that guess.

Poe hesitated then nodded reluctantly. “I… yes, she did. She said she’d been through something similar. That anyone not Force-sensitive or a Force user can’t resist for long.”

“There,” Finn said with satisfaction. “She’d know.”

“But I…” Poe began and Finn cut him off once more.

“Because, you know, I know what betrayal is.” Poe frowned and Finn saw the man’s protective side start to rear its head. “Because I betrayed the First Order. I liberated a prisoner, escaped with him, told the Resistance about Starkiller Base, helped them destroy it. Hell, I’m _still_ betraying the First Order with every scrap of information I give to the Resistance now.” He smiled wryly. “Even been called traitor by Kylo Ren himself.”

“Finn…” Poe looked like he didn’t know what to say. “You’re not a traitor.”

“Yes, I am,” Finn said simply. “I betrayed the First Order. I don’t regret it. I know I’m doing the right thing. But when you get right down to the base facts, I’m a traitor. That’s why some people here don’t trust me. If I betrayed the First Order, how do they know I won’t betray the Resistance?”

Poe shoved himself up on his elbow, his face full of indignant anger. “Who are they? How dare they…?”

Finn laughed and pulled Poe back down into his arms. Now _this_ was the Poe Dameron he was used to, all fire and determination.

“Poe, it’s okay. I understand their hesitation.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Poe said with a frown. “You rescued me, you completed my mission, you gave almost _everything_ to help destroy Starkiller Base. They should mistrust _me_ before you.”

“Yeah but the difference is that I knowingly and willingly betrayed the First Order,” Finn replied. “It wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t forced out of me against my will. Nobody tortured me.”

Poe went still then a slow, rueful smile grew on his face as he got the point Finn was making. “Sneaky, buddy. That was very sneaky.”

“Yeah, but it worked, didn’t it?” Finn said smugly.

Poe relaxed into his embrace. “I still feel guilty.”

“We’ll work on that,” Finn replied. Poe snorted and Finn rubbed his back again. “Go back to sleep.”

Poe nodded and snuggled closer. Finn reached out and turned out the light then he pressed a gentle kiss to Poe’s forehead. He closed his eyes and regulated his breathing, knowing it would soothe the other man and help him sleep. He knew this wouldn’t have convinced Poe, knew that the nightmares would come back again and again, knew that it was very likely Poe would be on a mission the next morning to find out who didn’t trust him but that was all okay. They could work on it. They _would_ work on it. Now that he knew, he’d do whatever he could to help.


End file.
